**Bitching ahead**

Things with the guy last week aren't working out since I haven't heard from him since Thursday night. I know it's not right or nice to say it but my gut may have been right on this one and the guy is too arrogant and simply was not into it. I had to be the one to initiate everything and I'm not for that.

I'm getting the feeling I need to stop talking to my ex and part of it is my fault for continuing to speak to someone who can't give me what I need in a friendship. I have the same conversation with him about it every once in a while and I'm fed up. I need to just let it go.

OkCupid is a bust and I'm not interested in anyone in Bloomington it feels like. Indi may have hope but I don't have time to go to Indi this semester.

I went on a "date" on Saturday but I kinda knew it wasn't going to be a date since he was looking for "friends". Either way, I can't fucking stand when people cannot keep eye contact with me (I'm not saying you have to stare at me like a creep, but come on) oh and sometimes it looks like he was checking out other girls as they were walking by. Conversation was a bit of a struggle...I paid for my part of the meal which pretty much sealed the idea that it was a hang out thing but by that time I didn't care. The upside of this was that I got to de-stress and talk to someone that wasn't in my program so there's that...

I think it's best to just delete numbers from my phone and be done with it. I don't know if I am more lonely or just tired of trying. On the other hand, I may also be ok with being single for a while. I don't have the energy, time, or patience to date right now and I think I need to accept that and realize I don't have to actively look for someone if I don't want to.