In an effort to appease the naysayers in my life who tell me to "keep an open mind", "give a guy a chance", "Jeez, why are you so picky?" I accepted an invitation for a second date with a guy from OkCupid who I met last weekend.

The first date consisted of an invitation to "Go to a Museum", the names of a few of which were thrown out. He told me to pick one because he didn't really care. Ok. Fine.

The very same evening he texted me and asked: "Wanna check a movie tomorrow? Or later in the week?" The following conversation (all via text) ensued...

Me (the next morning): Tied up today but later in the week sounds good.

Him: I understand...but...I want to see you again. I enjoyed listening to what you had to say. I hope you have free time soon.

Him: And you're very pretty.

Him: I like your attitude.

Him: So free up yourself n give me a call at your earliest convenience.

Already I'm annoyed. I said I'd go out with you again. Why are you badgering me about doing it on your timeline? Did you just give me an order to make myself available?

Him (yesterday morning): How you doing?

Me: Hey there, how are you? Staying warm?

Him: [bullshit and chit chat]...Hey I want to hang out with you. When?

Note the utter disregard for whether I want to hang out with him, which presumably if I did would have led me to contact him before he had a chance to bug me about it again.

Me: I think I might be free tomorrow night for a movie. Was there anything in particular you were interested in checking out?

Him: No I'm open. I'll be in [location] around 6 PM. I don't know what time you'll be free but I know it's near your favorite movie theatre.

Him: But if you decide you'd rather just have a drink after work that's cool too.

Me: Let me know if you see anything there that interests you.

Him: I'm only interested in hanging out with my new friend from Chicago (i.e., me)

Me: Well make us a plan and make it happen!

Him: It can't be done without your support.

Me: Sorry?

Him: I don't even know what time you're free?

Me: Oh, sorry! I should be free after 6:00.

Now call me crazy, but I don't even think he needed to ask what time I was free. I had already said I was free to see a movie Wednesday. I have a typical desk/day job. He knows what I do. So presumably I was free some time around the time that people with day jobs typically see movies, right? The evening...in general.

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Suggest a showtime and if I can't make it I'll tell you, then we'll see the one after that. Isn't that how these things work?

Him (this morning): Hey I get the feeling today or tonight might not be a good day for you. Am I right??

Me: No, today is fine. Is it not a good day for you?

Him: Every day is a good day. Are you really interested in practicing/learning languages?? [NB: he just spent 7 years teaching English in Korea...I mentioned on our first date that I would love to learn Korean.]

Me: Yes...is that part of the plan for tonight?

Him: I'm thinking...but I've been working from the crib since morning and I can't expect you'd be down for something like that after a busy day. Know what I mean?

Me: Not exactly. What was it you had in mind?

Him: Well I checked a few libraries already two weeks ago and none had Korean language books...so I was thinking Barnes & Noble...check it out and if you want we can still check out a movie. Provided you feel up for it cuz it's cold outside and I know my weather changes with the mood sometimes.

Him: We can plan and plan but I know when I finish work sometimes I don't feel like adhering to any plans except going home.

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OMFG GOD JUST STOP. You're right, I don't feel like adhering to any plans now. Not that you've actually fucking made one. You asked me to a movie on Sunday, how hard is it to execute on that?!

"Oh but MizJenkins he's just trying extra hard to be nice and figure out what you might want to do!" BULLSHIT. I call total bullshit on that. What he's trying to do is figure out the shortest route into my pants. And he doesn't want to bother with any of the risk of figuring it out himself, he just wants me to tell him what he's supposed to do so that he can do it and get what he came for. No effort, all the credit.

LAZY, HALF-ASSED, ENTITLED BULLSHIT.

Here's a PSA for all the guys who are reading: Learn How to Plan a Fucking Date.

Step 1: Ask a girl if you can take her on a date.

Step 2: Pick a date. That means, pick a day and time identifiable on the Roman calendar on which you would like for this interaction to occur.

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Step 3: Pick an activity. DO NOT for the love of this woman (which you presumably hope to gain) just invite her to "hang out" or "kick it some time". Suggest something you might do in order to occupy yourselves, even if that something is only "walk through the park and get to know each other".

The reason I suspect a lot of men don't want to do this is because their goal is "Get Woman to Like Me" and they're afraid that if they pick the "wrong" thing she might not. Guess what? That's called dating. See, a woman is a person and not a thing that you acquire. She has her own interests and desires. You do too. In order for you to actually be compatible at least some of those interests and desires have to align. And in order to determine if they do, you need to demonstrate for her what some of your interests are. Also that you have any at all, that you actively pursue them and that you are capable of advance planning and don't just live minute-to-minute like a goldfish. If you don't have any interests that take priority over doing whatever it takes to get laid, you are a schmuck. And a woefully immature and/or boring human being. Go work on that and maybe someone will want to date you.

The good news: Steps #1-3 above can actually be combined! It looks like this...

Man: Hello, [Woman], would you like to go see [Movie] with me on [Date @ Time]? <—- (see, this a request and not an order)

Woman: Yes/No.

Not hard!!! If what you suggest is something she really does not want to do, she is probably capable of telling you that. Maybe even of suggesting an alternative option. But don't ask a woman to "do something" and then make her plan what that's going to be. That's just foisting some work you don't feel like doing off onto somebody else.

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Now if you'll excuse me I have to go meet some guy to do God-knows-what because I'M REALLY OPEN MINDED AND AVAILABLE TO RECEIVE LOVE OK?!!

Fucking hell.