And also feeling like you want to burn the male of the species to the ground in the aftermath of #metoo. And overwhelmed in general from online dating.
I’m back trying to online date...gah... it’s SO OVERWHELMING. Especially now that it seems the messaging systems are all chat based, instead of more email based. I used to peruse profiles, send out messages/reply to messages and set a time limit per day (maybe 20 minutes). With the move towards chat based messaging, someone sends you a message and then it’s somewhat expected that you keep chatting. Not only am I just bad at online chatting, but WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?!?!?! I have shit to do. But I also want to get a sense of who you are before I meet with you.
Also, dudes, DATE WOMEN YOUR OWN FUCKING AGE. With OkCupid, it’s now a swiping system to match in order to chat with someone. How often does a dude look promising, and then I check his age range and he’s 40 and has his range set at 20-37 (not just that dude I said no to, but a depressing amount of men). The “logic” from these guys is “well, I want kids, so she has to be younger than me”, which...gross, women are not your breeding cows. I remember bringing this fact up with my ex once casually, that his age range was 10 years below him and only 1 year older. The above was basically his response... and surprise surprise his new girlfriend (who he started dating 2 months after we broke up) is 7 years younger than him.
Part of me wants to hide my profile, the other wants to stay on in case someone interesting comes along. I think I just have to tell myself that it’s okay to stop messaging someone if I’m overwhelmed or not feeling it. Online dating always made me anxious and overwhelmed though, so this is nothing new. I think it just feels extra overwhelming since I still feel super vulnerable from my breakup . On step and one day at a time.