It’s been awhile. In short, my work schedule changed significantly and with Nanowrimo going on I haven’t had time to really sit down.
I’m still doing it. Still in group. Still working a way. Heading towards the tail end. A lot of the work I’ve done lately is hardcore trauma stuff. So I go every week and go through the worst stuff, then do it again the next week, and we keep working on it, so I can process it. Kinda like when you have a disturbing dream and need to look at it to make up an ending so it doesn’t follow you around all day or week.
It’s exhausting. I bring home take out that will last two days, and watch comforting shows and think about all the other thoughts that surface. I notice them, try not to dwell, eat some oranges. I remember all the things I wanted to forget, and then bring them up the next week and we do it all over again.
My mood the following day is usually a bit grumpy, but it’s getting better.
I stood in the building where I was hurt. I read the names of the doctors on the wall, and I still knew what day it was.
I still do the group work, since it’s the second time around it’s more like a progress report. I get to see what types of thoughts I’ve managed to change. I get to notice that I am being kinder to myself.
Making progress, heading towards putting my PTSD into remission.