My basic question is does anyone have advice on how to deal with an alcoholic?

I’ve talked to my therapist and I’ve been to al-anon meetings, but generally everyone just talks about making sure you are ok no matter if the other person is ok or not. That is super important and helpful but doesn’t actually answer the question of how you deal with a person who is fantastic when sober and a lying, manipulative, asshole when drinking.

I probably stick with people too long in general but I don’t know if the only answer is to give up on a person and let them work on it on their own or if that’s super unhelpful and I should be doing more.

Anyone have experience and have any advice?

UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who responded to share advice and commiserate. Sometimes I feel very alone in this so hearing your words means a lot to me and I came away with several action items and a lot to think about. THANK YOU!