Why? Why did you wake up at 4 am? We were having such a lovely snooze. Why do you now refuse to settle down and go back to sleep? Sleep is good. Sleep is where we get to have lovely dreams about lovely things that we don't get to have in the waking world right now.

So, here is what the Brain and I are going to choose to believe, and we really hope it satisfies you enough to get you back to sleep, Body, because otherwise we will be having WORDS.

The Brain is choosing to believe that someone AWESOME had a really spectacular dream about us, and it was so very splendid and vivid that not only did it rock that person's world, it also woke us up.

See? Totally plausible. So now we need to return the favor. But in order to do that, Body, you need to SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN and go back to sleep. Got it?

Good. I think we're all in agreement and understand each other.