I am leaving you. And I'm not going to miss you. Specifically, I am not going to miss your water. Your water is awful. How do I hate it? let me count the ways.

1). My skin hates your water. After a bit more than a week if your water, my skin is dry and icky and no amount of lotion helps. My face has broken out more in the past week than it has in the past six months combined. Nasty Dallas water.

2). My hair hates your water. My hair is limp and dry and generally unhappy because of your yucky water, Dallas.

3). My belly hates your water. Even though I have only drunk your water filtered, my belly has been quite unhappy whenever a beverage containing your water has entered it.