Today is my birthday, and tonight begins the long journey of coming out to my friends and family. I’m gonna Skype my best friend tonight and tell her first - she’s really amazing and one of my feminist inspirations so I’m so excited to be able to share this part of me with her! I’m also absolutely terrified. Apart from you guise and my therapist, I haven’t told anyone in my real life that I’m trans. Saying it out loud and bringing it into the ‘real world’ is going to start a really daunting process that I don’t know if I’m strong enough for. I wish I could fast forward to the future and see if I made the right decision.
But I have to come out now. My partner gets home from the US on Sunday, and I won’t be able to stand forcing myself back into ‘boy’ mode, so I’ll have to tell her sooner or later. I think telling my friend tonight will help give me confidence and a bit of positivity to take forward, but I’m so scared I feel like I might have a panic attack just thinking about it. I get nervous for literally anything, like one of those little yappy dogs, and this is so much more important than a client meeting or a social gathering. I just need a bit of encouragement so I don’t chicken out.
ETA: My amazing birthday dinner, an annual gift to myself:
(Yes, I can make you one if you want)