Buying clothes online is convenient, but I hate ordering from retailers/brands I don’t normally order because I have no idea what size to get. (Because I think we all know that being a size X in one brand is no guarantee you’ll be the same size anywhere else.) I scour the reviews obsessively for folks who are kind enough to post their height and weight and the size they got, because to me, that’s the best way to guess if it will work for me.

But the chances that someone adds the measurements, and that their measurements are similar enough to mine that I can use it for comparison, are vanishingly small. So, here’s what I want:

I want a website where I can enter my height and weight and any general notes (“I have a short torso”, “I’m pear-shaped”, “I have broad shoulders”, whatever), and then enter a list of what sizes I wear in which brands. I want it searchable by brand, size, and body type, and I want whatever account you need to create to be anonymous so no one feels badly about contributing. I want there to be an option to add pictures so others can see how clothing fits - but not a requirement because no one should have to put pictures of themselves on the internet. I want there to be no way to comment on anyone else’s profile. I want the list of retailers to include plus sizes. I want there to be separate listings for dress pants, jeans, tops, and dresses. I want to be able to be able to look up a retailer, cross-reference for height and weight and get a general idea of what sizes there will work for me. I want enough people to use this that it because the de facto size bible for all major retailers. I want a bean feast.

Okay, that’s it. Someone with more skill go out and make this happen for me, because my barely-computer-literate self doesn’t have the skills.