Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
Illustration for article titled Dear local assholes...

Yes, they closed school tomorrow. They did it early, giving parents time to make plans. They did it ensure the safety of the children. Some fun facts for you:

  • The best we will see tomorrow is ten below. This is a dangerous temperature. Hypothermia and frostbite can set in within ten minutes, and that's for an adult.
  • Children are generally smaller than adults.
  • If you live within a mine and a half of the school and there are no major roads, you are expected to walk. Therefore, one third of the children in our county walk.
  • Children who are bussed in are expected to be at the bus stop ten minutes beforehand.
  • We live in a rather temperate clime. None of us have the gear on hand to clothe a child for these kinds of temperatures.
  • Oh, you say you lived here for your whole life and we've always had these kind of winters? Well, so have I, and you're full of shit. This is the state where it's not uncommon to golf in January.
  • This is not going to make our children 'soft.' This decision will allow them to survive the winter with all their fingers.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people that they wish for small children to stand in sub-zero temperatures so they can get a Pete the Cat book read to them?

Share This Story

Get our newsletter