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Dear Prudence Presents: Creeper Infiltration

A question from the live chat today immediately brought to mind one of Captain Awkward's more famous posts, which we've talked about on GroupThink a couple times already, IIRC. The new wrinkle in this one is that the creeper isn't their boyfriend's good buddy or someone else who's been part of the friend group since forever. In fact, it's the letter writer herself who bitterly regrets introducing him in the first place. They met online and went on a few dates, but when she pulled the plug on romance, she said they could still hang out because he was new in town and didn't have any friends. No good deed goes unpunished! He leaves her alone, but "was inappropriate to one my female friends and weirded out a couple more by being overly eager." Meanwhile, he's "inserted himself into my friend group more and more recently by connecting more with some of the guys." She'd prefer to go back in time and stop herself from ever holding out the promise of friendship, but plans on settling for a confrontation with him re: his creepy ways.


Classic sort of gender divide situation, where the women are all waving big red Problem flags, but the guys are either totally oblivious or thinking that whatever's going on, it's probably NBD. They might even think that hey, I tried to bang Stacy that one time too, and I don't think that was some kind of crime worthy of banishment from the friend group. Prudie doesn't address the letter writer's intention to take things up with Mr. Creeper directly, but advises her to privately tell her dude friends what time it is. She says to couch it in terms of a public service announcement and to omit any ultimatums or demands that they stop associating with him. Captain Awkward's advice was geared more towards dealing with the boyfriends and partners who run interference for their crappy friend and keep inviting him along to group events. In that sense, they're part of the problem, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. Hopefully, their lack of history with the guy'll take any sting out of cutting ties with him.

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