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Dear Prudence Presents: Friends, Lovers, and Fiancées

Prudie starts things off with one lady who's been tight with her bestie since college. He got sick and died suddenly, and his wife iced her out the moment he became incapacitated. She even went so far as to have her specifically barred from attending his funeral or wake — a blockade enforced by some horrible old bitch relative of hers, who I'm sure was loving every minute of it. Obviously, the letter writer is very hurt and upset by all this, and she wants to know how best to confront the recently bereaved. Prudie says to let it go — the young widow sounds like a total twat, but her life IS in ruins right now and there's no kind of satisfaction to be gotten from her. I agree that now's too late to say anything, but she should have crashed that funeral. Real talk — TEN miserable old women couldn't have stopped me from paying my last respects.

The next lady to write in says that she met this hot doctor out at da club and the evening of passion ended in his hotel room, where they "engaged in (safe) mutual oral sex." I can maybe believe that both parties were okay with a becondomed blow job, but that being followed up with the proper use of a dental dam strikes me as highly unlikely. Are people really that responsible? Was one of them actually packing a legit dental dam, or did they do the thing where you slice a condom up so that you can roll it out into a sheet? Maybe there was a slice of carrot cake in the mini fridge, and they took the saran wrap off of that. Anyway, they spent the night in cuddle heaven, exchanged numbers, and he said that he wanted to hook it up again the next time he was in town. She googles Dr. McDreamy about two seconds after parting, and Dr. Google diagnoses him as acutely engaged, with a wedding scheduled for February. She took the news like a punch in the gut, but her question is whether or not to tell his fiancee what time it is.


Prudie says hell yes, but advises her to couch it in terms of apology to the wronged woman and begs her to "consider that going to a stranger's hotel room for sex can end up with you having more than just your feelings hurt." She also says that she should have had him fully googled by the time she was done using the can way back at the bar. Another reader jumps in to say that contacting the fiancee is "cruel and unnecessary" (to who?) and suggests that her credibility would be suspect in any case. I say she definitely needs to put that guy's shit on blast, and can solve the credibility question by including some supremely douchey sweet nothing he whispered in her ear, which you just KNOW is the same shit he says to EVERY woman he's trying to bang.

Another person asks for help on behalf of their friend, a college student. She's being abused emotionally and physically by her shitty, controlling, awful parents. They run her life and treat her like crap, and she depends on them for everything, including expensive medications. That's just the way life has always been for her, and she's just beginning to understand that it might actually be fucked up and wrong. Shades of Aubrey Ireland, who had to get a restraining order against her own parents after they tried to have her involuntarily committed for nonexistent mental problems. Her college was super helpful with her, so Prudie tells the letter writer to help her friend get to the student help office immediately.

Last of all, a married woman is Not Happy about her husband's friendship with a single lady. She doesn't have any reason to suspect him, but all of sudden his phone and his iPad have a new password. Prudie reads it as "quite a bit of subterfuge going on here," which I don't exactly agree with, but I'd definitely admit that a showdown on the subject seems pretty damn inevitable. She recommends that she read this one marriage book and use the strategies in it to prevent their talk from just going to shit immediately. My advice to the guy is that if he wants to chill, talk smack, and gripe about the dumb stuff his wife does, he should just get on GT already.

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