Actually, I think that even Freddy, Dracula, Darth Vader, and Jason would be appalled by the suggestion that maybe the bride's father should be excluded from her wedding on the grounds that his disfiguring burns would upset the other guests. Freddy particularly. This is coming from the future mother-in-law, and whoa Nelly. Sometimes DP seems like it's being overwhelmed by bridezilla wedding nightmare stories, but I guess she can't help it if that's where all her insanest, most compelling letters come from.

The next advice seeker just heard from a coworker's wife, and she's begging her to release the tentacles of passion she's wound around her husband and father of her children. Trouble is, she barely knows the guy, and she certainly doesn't know diddly about some stupid affair that he's supposedly copped to. Curiouser and curiouser.