I just spent eight hours grading your drafts so you'd get them back within a day and have plenty of time to rewrite them for the final.

Instead of saying - hey, thanks! I get a snotty note asking when the in-class assignment will be returned. Are you all completely unaware that I have other classes? That I also need to eat and sleep and that I cannot grade 24/7?

Being an asshole to your professor does not help you in any way. Ever. We're all tired at the end of the semester.

Just once I'd like to have a student have some sort of awareness that their professors are actual people. I am not a robot, available 24/7 to serve your special snowflake needs.

OK, I'm going to breathe now. Then I'm going to have some ice cream. Thank you for listening..