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Dear uterus,

Stop with the cramps, you jerk! My only defense is two year old Tramadol I found in my medicine drawer. And I am fucking starving constantly for the past 24 hours. But I guess it takes a lot of energy to make that much blood, pain and poop doesn't it? Must be very exhausting too. That's probably why you are making me sleepy enough that I have to keep taking walking the office halls. At least I look like I'm getting a lot of work done, so thanks for that.

I was planning on getting one of my tattoos redone tomorrow and maybe getting a new one but I don't know if I can waste even the tiny amount of blood that I would lose since I must surely be a few pints low by now. But on the other hand, any vampires around will totally skip me for someone that promises a meal and not a light snack.

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Oh and my boobs, that I struggle with everyday anyway, are trying to escape from my shirt so I have had to undo the button that was so close to being flung across the room. Thank glob I am wearing a tank today but even that is losing the fight with the bowling balls I am sporting today. On the upside Molly's favorite spot to lay will be even more comfy for her (if not me).

Also, a bunch of hair just got caught in the new piercing in the top of my ear but it didn't hurt that much in comparison to the pain you are causing in my boobs, head, back and midsection so that's a plus.

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I hate you.

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At least I have discovered that my ear is pretty. (i guess, not a big expert on ears)

Illustration for article titled Dear uterus,
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