I came across this article this morning and it put a smile on my face. It was written by a woman who identifies as a lesbian who is engaged to marry a man. Of course she faces many questions and some consternation because of this.
This sort of hit home with me. I very much admire her conviction and I am also a little jealous because she is able to define herself in a way in which she feels comfortable.
I have no idea how to label my own sexuality.
I am biologically male, and I identify as transgender. I take all the hormones and as you would expect, have a blend of physical features from both traditional genders. Sometimes I identify as male, sometimes I identify as female, but most of the time I identify as in between. However when I am intimate, I never identify as male. So in times like that I identify as somewhere toward the female end of the spectrum.
I am married to a female, who presents as either tomboyish or girly, I am attracted to women who present as anywhere from androgynously boyish to very feminine, men that present as androgynous or feminine, transgender people who are feminine, and possibly someone like myself (that has yet to happen, but I think its possible).
Now, I do not think I can claim to be hetero, because I can be either/neither gender. I do not think I can claim to be homosexual for the same reason. I do not feel like I can claim the label of bisexual or pansexual because I have zero attraction toward masculinity. Does queer work? Maybe in a technical sense, but for some (irrational? emotional?) reason that label does not sit well with me either. Whatever I am, I am happy with it, but for some stupid reason I feel a little left out because I do not feel that I can define myself so simply.
Anyone else in the same boat?