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I'm just going to start this by apologizing, because this is kind of a dumb post. I am just annoyed and need to talk to someone about it, and I'm at work so I can't talk to anyone about it.

I've never been good at details that aren't connected to something. But let me plan something start to finish, and it will be amazing and every detail will be in place because I can see the whole picture. I throw awesome parties. I excelled in school. I come up with ideas and I get them done. I am amazing at outlining, coming up with a plan, researching, and executing.

Some things, though, I just can't bring myself to care about or remember. I can't remember anyone's phone number. I'm not the most observant person. I will not remember random little things unless I'm looking for a pattern. And I suck with numbers. So when a lot of my job involves remembering an exact, unnecessarily complicated procedure for filing paperwork before I make any changes, and editing other people's writing because they don't trust me, a professional writer, enough to just write it for them, I kind of want to scream. It's busy work! I want to tell them. You're wasting my time and your own! If you just give me free reign to do all the documents my way and keep track of them all my way, they'll all be awesome!


Even this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the smugness of the detail-oriented people. Someone who isn't even in my department decided to make a spreadsheet of where to find all the documents today. I have them organized by the product line and the type of document, whereas when I started working here they were organized by 10-digit part number, which is impossible. Unless you remember the part number of every single document (and there are hundreds, and I don't), it was useless. Anyway, this woman sent me her spreadsheet of where things are organized by part number saying she thought it would be helpful. I was like "Thanks, I'm sure that will help some people." And she was like "You're not going to use it?" And I responded, "No, I already organized the documents in the way that makes the most sense to me, I have no problem finding them." And she gets all annoyed. "If I asked you where part number 901-0071-000 is would you be able to tell me exactly where it is? Details make the world go round!"

You know, cool. I'm glad she's great with details - I need people like her so I don't forget things that might be important but I don't see that they are so I don't notice them. But without people like me, NOTHING would get done around here. It would just be a bunch of people spending their time making useless spreadsheets and powerpoints all day and following antiquated rules that don't work and not doing any real work. So, you know, it would be nice if she didn't act like I am a useless bumpkin just because I'm not the best with details.

I feel frustrated because this has happened to me a lot in my life. Due to the market being shitty, since college I've been stuck in a lot of detail-oriented jobs that drive me up the wall. No matter how hard I try and how many lists I make, I will never be detail-oriented. And when the people who are good with details look at me with nothing but disapproval on their face, at first I feel ashamed. "I suck at everything!" But I DON'T suck at everything. Just details.

Somebody, somewhere, just let me have a job where I get to plan and execute things, where I'm not being paid for my time but for my accomplishments and where ideas matter more than numbers. I promise I'll do an awesome job.

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