So, I seriously need to get licensed in my field (mental health). This requires about a year of work under a clinical supervisor. Out of pocket this would cost me about $1200/mo, so that isn't going to happen. That means I need a job where this can happen. For seven years I've been trying to find that job while still putting food on the table and it just hasn't happened. I've been using every contact I have over and over to no avail.

Well, there's an opportunity that I have a good shot at. So, I was all "YAY! Finally!"

Except it's about 1.5 hrs away. That's three hours a day in the car when traffic isn't too fucked up. "Booooo!"

But it's only about a year and I did it in 2005-2006 for a similar reason. "Yay"

But I'm 39 now with significant mental health and medical issues I work hard to keep under control and they don't work well with stress. Boo. $400/mo in gas. Boo. It doesn't pay very well and I'm the primary income. Boo. We can't move together or separately (we ran numbers last night and it won't work either way). Boo. Somewhat intimidating application process (somewhat emotional reasons). Boo.

But, but, but, this is the chance I've been waiting for. Yay.

But I don't feel "yay." I feel scared. I really don't know how to make this work. These opportunities don't come along often. I know I'd feel shitty if this option disappeared, but I'd feel relieved, too. Guess I know what I'll be talking about in therapy next week. Now, if I could just stop thinking about this until Monday. . .

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Help me not think, GT!!