Hey y’all. Thanks for all of my gifs and cute stories and videos yesterday, I haven’t had time to respond to all of them but they really made me feel better. It’s been a tough couple of days in Natface-world with all of this Stanford bullshit and I’m trying to walk a fine line between expressing my outrage and righteous anger and not letting it totally fuck me up to where I can’t get anything done. So that’s fun.
Mostly I’m vacillating between sad and tearful and completely numbed and shut down, which is a little red PTSD flag so I’m trying to take it extra easy. I already got my notes for my stats lecture tomorrow printed out and the practice exercises done, laid out my clothes, have some leftovers heating up in the oven for dinner, took all the trash out, changed the litterbox, cleaned the coffeemaker, worked out, and went to the store for a couple of cleaning things, all after my 8am statistics lab so I think I’m done for the day. Typing all of that out and seeing how productive I’ve been makes me feel less shitty. Tomorrow I’m going in for a touch up on my tattoo after class, then having dinner with some friends, so that will be nice. I won’t feel as lonely.
I went on an OKCupid date on Sunday. It was meh. We had dinner for an hour and I just wasn’t super into it. Right off the bat there wasn’t much spark (also, a sidebar, my food was pretty bad...we went to an asian fusion place and my dish was drowned in fish sauce. uck.) At one point we were talking about some of our weirder online dating experiences, and he said that the craziest thing he’s ever encountered via dating apps is girls who are “clingy” and want to text too much after just a few dates. Cue my face:
because my experience of crazy fucking dudes from okcupid and other places is shit like, the violently, disgustingly sexual things that I would get on a weekly if not daily basis, or the one guy who told me he wanted me to freeze my blood into a dagger shape and then stab him with it.
So. Hard pass.
I’m glad I went out still, it was nice to do my hair and makeup and wear a skirt, as I enjoy all of those things on their own. But yeah, I’m not going to weep over not having another awkward dinner with this one guy.
Anyway, talk amongst yourselves, if you wish.