Four years ago, while at a company party, I found myself attracted to the DJ. I was single, but coming off a severely broken heart and wasn’t really wanting to date, but I did want sex.

After the party, I went with my coworkers to a nearby club, and the DJ showed up later. Turns out, he was there to check on another DJ, see how he was doing at the club. We talked, we drank, we went to another club, and then he came home with me. We fucked.

And we kept doing that.

When he asked for clarification on what our relationship was, I said I didn’t want to talk about it because I really didn’t want a relationship. But after a year and a half of a fuck buddy thing, I developed some feelings and wanted to know where he was at. He had just bought the DJ business and didn’t want to date. So, we stayed fuck buddies.

But even as a fuck buddy, he sucked as a person. There were numerous times he’d say he was going to come over and he didn’t, or he’d leave to get pizza and not come back, or in some other way make plans and blow me off. Each time, he wouldn’t get back in touch with me for months, have an elaborate excuse that always seemed somewhat plausible. And a few months was enough time that I’d forgotten the sting of him blowing me off and was horny again. (Plus, I’d remind myself, we weren’t in a relationship.) So I’d hang out and sleep with him again (the sex got really, really good).

But enough was enough, and finally I cut him off.

Then I moved away. Before I left, I exchanged texts with him saying I was leaving. He offered to come sleep with me one more time, but I declined.


Then I moved back, somewhat unexpectedly. I was returning somewhat feeling like a broken bird, and sure enough, we reconnected. Over a year ago, last summer, we hooked up twice when I was in BigCity. We were actually connecting on more than just a sexual level, and he mentioned that if we were living closer, it might be something more.

Then, I met recent ExBoyfriend and was off the market for a while. DJ would text me flirty things, but eventually we just got to being friends(ish). Last summer, when I was in BigCity, we texted. He expressed regret for the way he’d treated me, how he didn’t know what he had at the time, that maybe if circumstances were different, we would have dated. In the end, I agreed to get lunch with him before I left. Just as friends, he promised. He would behave, he said. He just wanted to see me and catch up.


We had firm plans that day. Noon. Sunday. Somewhere in his ‘hood. He had a place in mind.

He never texted, answered my calls, nothing.

So then I was done. I unfriended him and never looked back.

He texted me about 4 weeks ago, like “Hi.” My response was “Are you fucking kidding?”


“Uh, maybe, um...not sure, lol.”

“Oh, ok. Then I’ll just ignore you like you did to me last summer.”

“That’s fair.” Then he wrote some stupid excuse like he’d slept in, his phone was silent, blah blah blah.


I never responded.

Last night, he texted me again. “Hi....reluctantly.”

I kind of want to just lay into him and be like “You’re a dick and treated me shitty for too long so FUCK OFF!” and part of me is like, ‘Whatevs, penguin. You let him treat you that way. Just move on and live your life and don’t repeat the same mistake.’


Do I respond? Do I ignore/delete?