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Hi GT! Long time no post. There have been a bunch of GTers going through some heavy things lately, and a lot of election related anxiety, and so I thought it would be nice to discuss something a bit different. Slate ran an article about the joys (and costs) of going to bed at the same time as one’s significant other, and the author seemed to think (after a highly non-scientific poll of friends) that this was common. What do you think? Do you go to bed at the same time? If so, do you prioritize it or does it just happen? If not, has it always been that way or has it changed over time?

For my part, Boyjangles and I almost always go to bed at the same time. Sometimes one of us has to work late, or sometimes one person is less tired and stays up reading longer. But in general, we like to get in bed and either read or do crossword puzzles together (because we’re 34 going on 90) until one of us starts to fall asleep (usually him). Boyjangles is great at falling asleep, but it’s hard for me to voluntarily shut down my brain, so left to my own devices I tend to stay up way too late reading, listening to a book or a podcast, or watching TV. It’s especially noticeable when we are apart - I stay up way too late because I just suck at putting myself to bed and at the end of the week I come home exhausted. For some reason I always think I’m not that tired unless I can’t keep my eyes open. But when Boyjangles starts to fall asleep and we turn out the light and snuggle up together, it’s so warm and comfortable in his arms that I start to relax. I close my eyes, and find that actually, maybe I am kind of tired, because closing them feels like putting down something you didn’t realize was heavy until you weren’t carrying it any more. And then his rhythmic breathing just lulls me to sleep. So I have to remind myself that even when I’m tempted to stay up it’s better to just go to bed with him.

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