I made an emergency appointment (thankfully there was a cancellation) because I'm essentially unmedicated at the moment. I KNOW I took my Ritalin this morning but it's just not working. I should at least be able to try coding stuff but trying to watch training videos consists of hitting Play, watching for about two seconds, and then getting fidgety and unfocused again and totally clocking out.

This is inattentive-type ADHD at its worst. At least this morning I'm trying to stay relatively calm about it and remind myself that 1) my boss is on vacation, 2) he won't fire me anyway, and 3) this is out of my control for at least the next 24 hours. I do not need to be perfect today. I'm going to buy a delicious sandwich from the nearby sammich place for lunch, even though it's $10 and I've spent a lot of money on eating takeout this past week. I'm going to do what I can, work-wise, and know that things will be fixed by 3pm today after my appointment. I'm going to just do my best.