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Does anyone know how to make this thing work?

We got this from Mr. Misfit's mom for Christmas and I cannot for the life of me get it to pump. I feel like I've tried everything. Help me Hivemind, you're my only hope.

ETA: I just got it to work after days of not being able to. I think it's because I didn't care anymore. Please, feel free to opine on my shameful lack of skills, or share your own stuck on stupid moments!


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