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Dog B is a Jerk

As a veterinarian acquaintance used to say, "Some animals are just jerks."

Dog A was nearly starved to death in his previous life, so when he gets food he eats it like it's going out of style. His kibble is gone in under 3 minutes. If we kept food out all the time, he would eat it until it's gone, throw up, eat that, and then wonder when he'll get fed again. We've had him over two years and he still thinks like a starving dog.

Dog B likes to mess with Dog A's mind. When it's dinner time, she'll sniff her food, then casually have a seat nearby. Periodically she'll get up, have a bite or two, and then settle back down. She waits until Dog A has wolfed his down, then she'll daintily begin to eat hers. Slowly. With lots of breaks. While watching Dog A with major side eye. I realize I'm anthropomorphizing and that she's not *really* trying to make Dog A miserable—but she still comes across as a jerk.


He knows better than to make a bid for her food. While my husband and I can touch her food dish, pull things out of her mouth, and pet her while she eats, heaven forbid another dog comes within three feet of her when she's eating. Dog A watches and longs and is filled with angst while Dog B shrugs her way through her meal.

Other jerk things she does? She likes to rip insoles out of shoes. She steals my socks. She humps Dog A right after he's had a bath and is feeling vulnerable. She destroyed my husband's CPAC mask. She likes to pull the stuffing out of her toys, and she really likes to do that after we've cleaned the house. When I cuddle her, she likes to burp in my face. She's the dumbest dog I have ever had.

Still. She's kind of cute, though. And I love her.


Do you have an awful pet that you still love?

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