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Dollar Shave Club is now trying to sell us wet wipes to use on our disgusting bottoms. John Cook at Gawker has taken a decidedly anti-butt wipe stance, but I'm inclined to think this is a great idea.

I am a proud member of the Dollar Shave Club for over a year now because I always hated going to the corner store, dumping $12 dollars for a new razor to shave my beast-man face, and then promptly ruining that razor because I let my hair grow too long and thick (because I had tried avoiding dropping $12 for a new razor). This became my weekly torture. When Dollar Shave Club hit the scene, it was a godsend for me. Now I pay a couple dollars each month and have razors delivered to my door. More razors than I even need. My bathroom is full of fucking razors all the time and it barely costs me anything. I'm almost compelled to shave my hairy body just to put them all to use. The Dollar Shave Club is advertised mainly to men, but I have no fucking clue why they wouldn't try to sell this to women too as you guys burn through razors almost as fast as men. Its just a good fucking deal.


The first thing I thought after I starting to get my razors was that I wish more stuff I needed would be dropped off at my house every week. The first thing I thought of was toilet paper, as when you live in a house with roommates you are constantly buying toilet paper, or you risk the threat of running out and then you have to wash your butt in the shower. These so called "One Wipe Charlies" may be the solution I've been waiting for.

Also, how fucking cool are these subscription based companies? It works to be so cheap because they know every week exactly how much product they are going to sell, so they can utilize their bulk buying power to get just as much product that they need without wasting resources storing and distributing shit that might take a while to sell. I wish I could do everything like this. Every six months send me some new jeans. Every month send me some vitamins. Every week send me 50 gallons of beer. I could work from home and never go outside ever again.

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