I hate dating. I hate being picked up. I hate having my bullshit radar affected by booze.

I got swindled this weekend. I fell for very line, hook line and sinkHer. I mean honestly. Is it too hard to ask for a guy who actually has the balls to follow through.

I've now deleted his number. The 3rd double vodka greyhound facilitated that. Fuck. I just want to find a partner who I can be weird and dumb with. I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect looking. But I like myself. Why can't other people see my worth. I'm plus sized and this guy has now made me feel like he was only interested in like a fetishy way. Ugh. I swear sometimes I think it's cause I'm in the Bay Area. Other times I'm pretty sure it's because the universe doesn't think I deserve love. I certainly don't.

Barkeep, double vodka greyhound number 4 please!