Funny conversation between my boyfriend and me while I was drunk yesterday:

VirginiaBreach: "So today I found this 'cock in a sock' article with Instagram photos of men wearing only socks, and I clicked on it ..."
VictorBreach: "And?"
VirginiaBreach: "I expected the men to be fully clothed, but to my surprise, they were only wearing a sock." *shrugs innocently*

Two minutes later, VirgniaBreach, laughing hysterically: "I can't believe I said that. Of course I expected them to be naked. It's called COCK IN A SOCK!"

Moral of the story: I tell ridiculous lies when I'm drunk and quickly confess out of shame.

Next I'm going to say I didn't expect my ice cream to be sweet.