I am never making an effort on a costume again for a party like this. I pretty much was the only one that appreciated the nerdyness of it all, and my makeup got smudged either way.I spent most of the evening being drunk and then having to watch as questionable antics unfolded before me.But I'm glad I had this moment. I learned yesterday/today that I am not the get-drunk-and-do-stuff type. I'm the have-a-few-drinks-and-go-to-bed-by-midnight type. In other words, this was not at all at my speed, and I'm glad to see that I know myself enough to awknoledge it.I've been beating myself over the head that I had to be social and try and keep up, but by three AM, I said fuck that and fuck those expectations. I was tired, and I had stopped having fun three hours ago. I no longer care if I'm a killjoy for it. These people, frankly, wouldn't be any more receptive if I kept on until I passed out.I am in an outsider status with this group, and I'm starting to make peace with that.
Also, while I know that men come in all types, the types I was with last night left a bad taste in my mouth.I got a general vibe that they were looking to score from the generous selection of women at the party. These women, however, were as drunk as they were, and I know for a fact that sleeping or even flirting with these guys would've been regrettable. Some of these women have serious feelings for someone else, and don't want the complication. Some have very recently ended relationships, and being someone's drunk score is not going to help.I admit I'm a bit angry over their behavior.but it's not my place to judge them and the women their after, so I can't really do anything about it but keep it to myself...and maybe the Internet if I don't use names.