Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

Emails you wish you could send

Contract Faculty addition:


Email :I know I haven’t attended class and I am failing, can I get a redo?

Response: Fuck off.

Actual response: I don’t do redos. Unless you have a special request sheet, there is nothing I can do for you.


(I do redos for people with doctor’s notes, couldn’t get daycare for their kids, accommodations, I got stuck in an elevator etc But never showing up with no reason, no I don’t do shit to help you.)


Email: I know it’s the last week, Is there any way I can get extra credit?

Response: HAHAHAAHAHAHAA NO. I don’t get paid to do that. I’m not even making enough to pay my rent. So no.


(if you are ever asking for a redo, propose an assignment how you think it would show skills you are lacking, and also spell your teacher’s name right when making this request.)

Actual response: I don’t do extra credit.

Email: I missed my group assignment, because I didn’t know I was in a group.

Response: Not my fucking problem.

Actual response: No.

Email: (Official email from a student adviser) Student X has told me they missed all of your class. Could you possibly re-arrange the assignments so they could still pass the class. Would you be able to tutor this student in person? Or at least drop the requirements of your class so they can pass. (They have no official accommodations, thus I have no legal or moral obligations to help them.)

Illustration for article titled Emails you wish you could send

Response: How about fuck you? No no, I mean, why don’t you do that in your spare unpaid time? I mean, the school has told me over and over that teaching is a labour of love, and thus unworthy of pay, so why don’t you just go ahead and give them that pass for doing nothing. Why don’t we just pass everyone so our program can have no value and all your beloved customers can be so happy with the worthless piece of garbage degree you sold them.

You know what. Fuck it. I resign. Go find another person to treat like human garbage and degrade this program more by making it a pay to pass piece of useless bullshit.


Actual response: No. Part of attending school is a commitment to attending class completing assignments. Unless they have an official reason for missing class, I cannot redo the entire course for them. As my contract is ending, I would require extra pay and overtime to complete this request.

What gif or no, would you like to send?

Share This Story

Get our newsletter