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Emotional Outreach

I am ... struggling.

I had this grand plan for my summer.

Expectation: I was going to work some, work out a lot, practice a lot, and spend time with my dogs and husband, and give up soda/sugar again. Sometime in there, I was going to buy a house I loved, and set myself up for an idyllic fall semester in the new job! Doing the professional things! Professionally!


Reality: I am working a lot, I fractured my ankle and can work out exactly none, and am so overwhelmed/stressed that practice is only happening about half the time. The dogs are wild with lack of exercise (see: fractured ankle), so I yell at them a lot, and the husband is ... in his usual July stress-spiral.

We are about seven weeks into relying on retail to make ends meet. I’m fortunate enough to be at a store that can support me 20-30 hrs/week, which is better than a lot of recent retail summers. But it’s still not a lot of money for work which is physically/emotionally demanding, and all the in-fighting and drama that comes with retail jobs, even when they’re good.

I can do anything for four more weeks, but I am too old for this bullshit and it takes a toll.

We are about seven weeks into a house hunt. Every trip to the site involves seven hours in the car, boarding my dogs overnight, ungodly heat, and visiting shitholes that I can’t believe are currently housing human beings. The price-point I was hoping to stay under has almost doubled.. Nothing is working out, the close date would now be during the semester (I will have two new preps - and I still don’t know what my teaching assignment will be, exactly, so I can’t pre-prep to alleviate the stress).

I don’t want to do it anymore, and everyone around me insists that if I leave the dogs with the husband and rent, I will be miserable. (They’re not wrong, but I think I am done?) In my more dramatic moments, I’ve kicked around the idea of not doing the job and just living in the back of the husband’s closet. (Mostly being a diva? 2% considering)

Obviously, none of this is productive, but my method of coping seems to be drinking excessive amounts of soda and obsessively clicking around on social media.

Anybody got tips for snapping themselves out of a funk real fast? I gotta work toward a goal I have mixed feelings about, and motivation is in the absolute gutter.

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