I was at the grocery store this morning, as I usually am. The cashes all looked a bit busy, so I took my place in line at one of them, still listening to music on my headphones until it was time for me to start unloading onto the belt. Then I took out my headphones just in time to hear a woman behind me calling out to someone I couldn't see, "I'm going over here now! This line is too slow." At which point I was thinking, "what? Does she think I'm moving too slowly? Whatevs." Then she says it again, "yeah, that line was moving so slowly". And then again. So then I shoot her a bit of a:

(I apologize; I know Martin's been a tool lately but I can't come up with anything else that quite nails it and I don't have all afternoon to look)

So her husband (I assume) mutters something to her I can't hear, and she blurts out, "well, I think it's the cashier." Naturally, she does it loudly enough for the cashier to hear. "I just think she's really slow." So as this cashier is running me through, I graduate to this expression:

And on she goes. Now, keep in mind she's now in another line. But she keeps commenting on how slowly she perceives my line to be moving: "look at that! This line has checked out two people while she's still on that one" (me of course, and my order was pretty big anyway). Like, seriously lady - you don't even go here! She's actually complaining about a line she isn't even in anymore. Do I need to tell you that I don't think this cashier was going particularly slowly anyway? She certainly wasn't slacking off or gabbing with coworkers or anything. Anyway, I'm not terribly assertive so I'm just listening to this and thinking in gifs. My final thought to this lady? Take it away, chorus:

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