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I'm going to state right off that I think what I'm going to suggest is unethical. I don't think it's illegal, but I'm open to a lawyer's non-binding "advice." With that said, I'm a bitch and I want a bit of justice and fairness.

My ex was arrested for domestic violence against me last year. I wrote about this in another post I don't have the link for currently. He spent some time in jail for it. For awhile, after the jail time, I thought I could help him and that he was getting better. Eventually it got worse again once he started living with me and shit blew up until I made him leave. He then spent a few months harassing me with his new girlfriends, texting me to tell me I was worthless, telling me I made him violent, etc... He tried to attend therapy sessions, claiming I'd abused him, at the women's shelter that was giving me treatment. (Naturally, they refused him). I didn't report any if this for the sole reason that I am still on his health insurance. I need it. That is the only sympathy he has given me in all this.

During his time in jail, he was able to keep his job by the combination of excellent union benifits and lying to the company. He used the FMLA and claimed he was in a mental health treatment program the entire time.


What is my manuever of justice: Soon, I will be off his insurance. I would like to write to HR and let them know he lied about his time in jail and his ability to claim the FLMA. (They were going to fire him, but he got out of jail just in time and checked into a 1 week program and that apparently satisfied their documentation requirements). A pretty significant lie in my opinion, though maybe I'm wrong about that.

Why do I want this? Because he tortured me, emotionally abused me, and after it's all said and done, he learned nothing from jail and will have his record expunged after probation ends. When he finally got arrested, it was because he had scared me so shitless with a threat to kill me that I forgot to lie about the abuse.

Now, while on probation, he posts pictures of himself drinking (a violation) on Facebook but his probation agent has let me know that isn't a concern for him because he doesn't believe he has a problem with alcohol or have alcohol related offenses. He is dating, taunts me with it, but I have trouble seriously imagining kissing somebody. When I finally told the probation agent about the taunts, it was made clear to me that too much time had passed between incidences and my reporting it for it to be taken seriously. They think he is doing great.

For the record, part of me thinks nothing will even happen if I do write them a letter and provide documentation for the jail time. But another part of me wants there to be an actual punishment for what he did to me. Time in jail doesn't count if he just goes right back to his old behavior when he got out.


On the other hand, part of me thinks I'm a vindictive bitch and I need to just let go. I mean, I do need to let go. I finally got rid of anything he left me in my storage shed and everything else we shared this past weekend. Let him have his job the rational side of me says. Yet, still...

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