Ivanka and Tiffany look like Real Dolls. That has to be on purpose right?

That old phrase, “Good enough for government work.” is no longer useful. The idiots running things have set that bar waaaaaay too low right now. They’re having a job fair at the White House tomorrow. (I so hope everyone in D.C. dresses up and makes the bestest fakest resumes and trolls the shit out of them)

Trader Joe’s Cauliflower Fried Rice is acceptable. But really it just makes me eat more since it’s nominally healthier. (Also, to be indelicate...it’s pooping food! Should you need assistance in that department)

I’m turning into an old curmudgeon. I was thisclose to going off on the gormless high school senior/college freshman who was wandering around Trader Joe’s eating their dribbly bagel sandwich from the deli down the block. Gah! Take that shit outside buddy - you’re old enough to have been taught manners! Plus he was doing that drifting through the store blocking everyone in every direction deals which makes me want to run over them with a tank.

Speaking of tanks - how did I forget that time the guy stole a huge one in San Diego? Also how did Jackass never repeat this as a “stunt”? The guy squashed a goodly number of hydrants/traffic lights/parked cars before being stopped. He also tried to squash cars with people in them but luckily they were all able to get out of the way. (TW he was killed by police, although that’s not on shown on tape.)

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