As if you have run out of things to say but also fear repeating yourself? I always look forward going out then posting about my adventures. But the adventures have been too alike lately. Maybe its spring blahs or late winter blahs. I still comment and love reading what people write and I adore everyone here. Maybe I need to cleanse the number 18 out of my head. 18 is the number who showed up at my early 40s late cousins wake. His father who died the month before had over 200 sign the book at the wake. Which means more attended since not all signed the book, some people forget like me. At the wake of 18 they still talked about his late father. At the end of the wake, we had a tiny service, twelve were there, my female cousin, his aunt and sister to his late father stood up and she said "He was not THAT bad. He just made bad choices". She paid for the wake and cremation. I keep thinking that's what his life came down to just the number 18 and almost all were there for his college age son or the aunt and her brother or all three. Two people both childhood friends came for my late early 40s cousin.

Confession I went also for his aunt, uncle and his college age son. I went to his father's wake for his father. That also troubles me. As my mother said "his father was beloved his son was not".