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Exhaustion

I’m so tired I want to cry. Last week, I was doing 14 hour days every day, between work and rehearsals for a big show on the weekend. I was up until 3:30 and 2:00 am on Saturday and Sunday, respectively. I got only about four hours of sleep last night and this is on top of being chronically sleep-deprived pretty much all the time lately.

I never get enough sleep and the sleep I do get is fragmented and disturbed and unrefreshing. Today, I feel like I’ve hit a breaking point. I just want to put my head down on my desk and cry. My whole body is aching and my brain is horribly foggy. Even the simplest tasks are taking me much longer than usual to complete and my memory is shot. I literally lost track of what I was doing in the middle of doing it earlier today.

There’s no rest in sight, either. My parents are in town till Thursday and are expecting me to entertain them every night after work. I have dance tonight and Thursday, and Friday I have a meeting with a volunteer organization I’m a part of.

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I just have no balance in my life. I took a holiday at the end of March and it was gloriously relaxing. But now I’m back at work and I feel overwhelmed and exhausted again. The holiday did nothing to help me sort out my chronic sleeping problems and jam-packed schedule. It’s not just work - it’s everything, from creative pursuits to volunteer work to my relationships. Something has to give.

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