Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

Face Skin, We Need to Talk

We had a pattern, you and I. I hated you, and you broke out. That was our thing.

At first I tried to scrub you into submission, but like a demonic whack-a-mole, the more I slapped those pimples down with the Chemicals of Righteous Anger, the more they just popped back up.


So, I tried a little tenderness. It worked for Otis, it could work for me. Only the most gentle cleansers. Only the most natural of moisturizers, morning and evening. Only the cosmetics specifically meant for sensitive skin. And we made progress, you and I. You still brought forth plagues of pimples, but they were confined to a few select areas: The nose and chin. And sure, they tended to linger, but they mostly only showed up a few predictable times a month.

But now. Now. What are you doing to me, face skin? Why are you producing the really painful kind of pimples that don't ever develop a head so I don't even get the satisfaction of popping them? (Shut up, I'm gross.) And why are they showing up the day AFTER my period instead of two days BEFORE? And on the space between my nose and lip? WHY?


Is the gentle exfoliation boring you? Do we need to add some spice back into our moments together? Do you miss the harsh treatment? Do you miss the times I would whip you into submission with rough pads, benzyl peroxide, and salicylic acid?

Tell me what you need from me. I want us to be happy together. But open communication is the key to a healthy relationship. You need to let me know what you're thinking.



This can only benefit both of us and make our relationship stronger.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter