ALL the space-related facepalms.

I have received the materials for Vacation Bible School this year. Let's ignore the fact that it's a really bizarrely-organized manual that makes no flipping sense. It's a SPACE theme (half-hearted "woooooooo"). And what's the mascot? Go on. Guess. You know you want to. What critter could a program called "Blast Off" with all kinds of spacey stuff have as a cute and cuddly mascot? A super-cute alien, you say? No, no. What sort of sense would that make?

IT'S A FUCKING CHIMPANZEE IN A SPACE SUIT.

I just.... it's so..... the number that died..... THE ONLY APE WHO HAS EVER GONE INTO SPACE WILLINGLY WAS CURIOUS GEORGE, DAMMIT! I haven't checked the names (there are two) because I'm afraid to add to the stupidity that already permeates the whole thing.

And really, how do you make a VBS all about space and NOT get the rights to use "God of Wonders," the song written specifically for the space program in reaction to the Columbia explosion? How? Who's running this show, monkeys?

Advertisement