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Families are hard. Love/advice needed.

UPDATE: A very sincere thank you (!) to everyone who responded with helpful thoughts. Sorry for not responding back earlier - it doesn't mean I didn't appreciate your comments; just got crazy busy at work yesterday. I still feel sad about this for my person but am hoping the lack of calls from the remainder of my family mean that nothing more crazy has happened and they're just busy doing what they can to be helpful and supportive. <3


Illustration for article titled Families are hard. Love/advice needed.

How do you support someone you're not close to? Someone who won't let you get past their defenses, who you've had some past friction with, but that you love?

Someone in my family is going through a hard time - some very low lows - and is feeling very hopeless. Partially because of his emotional state and partially because of our relationship, I can't get him to engage me, but I want him to know that I love him and want to help in any way possible (... from across the country... with no real assets/similar experiences to offer). :-/ I don't want him to think I'm just reaching out because I pity him or to be annoying - in general, I'd like to be closer but he doesn't often reciprocate my efforts.


Today I sent a text message just saying that I'm here if he needs me and that I hope he's hanging in there. Any ideas what else I could do next? A basic, not-pushy card?

Sorry to vague-think, I could just use some advice. I feel like the rest of my family is carrying the burden of helping out here while I can do nothing except put good wishes into the universe and wait to see if I'm needed. I just want him to be okay. :(

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