I hate when I have great phone and email banter with work people and then I have to meet them. I feel I should warn them - look, I know I sound cute and awesome in email, but be prepared to meet Honey Boo-Boo's mother, ok?

That is not a far off stretch, looks and size wise. I wish it wasn't true, but it is. I've been talking to some cross-campus colleagues about coordinating a project and it was all jolly and laughs and then he suggested lunch with a couple of his colleagues. Fuck.

I wish I had more friends here, and this is the only way to do it. But 75 percent of the time, the meeting in person kills it, particularly with men.

Yes, the answer would be to lose weight. Let's just not go there now, ok? I just want to get through this stupid lunch and crawl home.