My boobs are fine today, but I'm going to need my man's help with my hair.
Why? Because I committed to what turned out to be a fatal flaw in home-highlighting planning. I got all the shit outta the box, I put the cap on my head, I started pulling strands (god, that sucks so fucking hard) and an HOUR and a HALF into that endeavor realized I cannot fucking do the back. At all. Not with two mirrors, not with my iphone, no way, no fucking how.
The texts between my husband and I... involved him telling me that he's going to be late today (lies or truth? I don't knowwwww!) and me telling him to lick balls. In retrospect, while jokingly and lovingly said (uh?), I suspect this furthered my "lack of planning" on the day.
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD???
*Also, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I'm capable of getting my highlights professionally done, I'm just too damned.. something not to. So. Here I am.