As if the endless rain wasn’t bad enough, I am having some interpersonal issues that are causing me a lot of anxiety and feelings of broken trust and betrayal. I talked it over in therapy this morning and I don’t feel like going into details now, but the anger and stress has worn me out and left me feeling tired and depressed. Rest assured that I am safe and unharmed, just pissed off at someone.
I know that I only feel depressed right now because that is what comes after a period of intense anxiety wears me out, and that overall my life is okay right now. But I have a history of serious depression so having this feeling come back immediately makes me feel like I am back in that dark place. And the rain makes me feel trapped. I need some perspective and also maybe some support? Tonight I need to have it out with the person who has upset me and try to explain my feelings to them (bc it is a relationship I want to preserve) but I just feel tired.
I have a class in fifteen minutes and I have never felt less motivated. I am totally prepared for it so there’s no reason not to attend (in fact I am in the building in the sort of lounge area ojtaide the classroom rn so I am basically already here), but mentally and emotionally I just don’t even want to deal with it.
I feel hurt and angry and tired and sad. I feel like my trust has been broken. I feel like I cannot forgive this. I seriously just need a hug right now and maybe some homemade soup and a good cry :(
Edit: if i didn’t respond yet to your post specifically, just know that i appreciate all of you! Thank you!