Behold my glorious bounty! My boss, a farmer, has brought in all the veg that were not pretty enough to sell (nibbled by voles, VOLES—why you make these veg feel so damn unpretty?)

Basket 1: Turnips
Here are the things I know about turnips:
- Lettuce turnip the beets is a solid pun.
- They are bulbous, and look confusingly like obese radishes.
-Mash those mo'foes.

Basket 2: Sweet potatoes
Here are the things I know about sweet potatoes:
- Known alias: yams
- Voles fucking love them.
-Mash those mo'foes. Marshmallows optional.

All the bags on the counter: Kale
Things I know about kale:
- Top Chef thinks it is cliche
- They are one of three things my cat will not eat. Sidenote: He will play with them though.
- Not mashable. Marshmallows not recommended.

The timing is perfect because I have only 3 dollars until payday and am into eating, but other than HULK SMASH, I could use some cooking advice.

In conclusion, here is a sweet potato masquerading as a mouse, most likely a clever disguise to avoid voles.