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Feminism and Fitting In

(This is a slightly edited version of what I wrote on my personal blog).

I have been examining some of my own feelings about feminism, and where I fit in the whole thing.

Basically, i still feel intimidated/alienated by feminism. i call myself a feminist because I believe in equality for women, full stop. But I still feel left out, and as if when dealing with my own stuff, I'm on my own.


I realize that at least part of this is due to not feeling comfortable as one gender or another. But growing up, I was always the last picked, always teased for being sensitive (my brother would call me "a girl" all the time, not in a mean way, just matter-of-factly). I had a vague idea of feminism as a good thing, but I knew nothing about it.

So when I got into college, I actually encountered feminism, and it was a culture shock. All of a sudden I was being told all these things about how men were responsible for all these awful things done to women (and, being me, I took it personally). I associated misogyny with my own complicated feelings about my mother, so it left me kind of afraid of women in general. It didn't help that many of the people who told me this were men who were more secure in their masculinity than I was.

I don't feel a lot of kinship with other men. But I feel that "men have to work things out on their own" is dangerous,because usually that leads to stuff like the MRM. But all I know is that I often feel unhappy and adrift.


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