I saw my Naturopathic Doctor to get the results of my neurotransmitter panel and OMG.
I was off the fucking charts in almost everything, but particularly for Serotonin. Like, 3.5 times the highest range of normal. So basically, it was like being tweaked out on speed all the damn time. So the good news is that my brain is functioning well enough on the thyroid meds so I don't need the supplements I was taking. I'm off those, and getting some other stuff that should bring the other NTs back down to a normal range.
I woke up feeling ok for the first time in months today. It was the first day I didn't wake up feeling anxious. It was the first day in months I didn't get completely freaked out or panicked over something. I exercised. I meditated. I'm able to think more clearly because I don't feel like I'm constantly standing on the edge of a cliff. I'm even able to have a problem, not know how to solve it right now, and be ok with it. It's A Fucking Christmas Miracle.
I am so freaking relieved. I had no idea how I was going to be a functional human being if I didn't figure this out. I'm sure there will be some more bumps in the road, but whatever. At least I'm sorting this one out.