My SO and I moved to another country about a year ago and haven't taken a vacation because we've been trying to kick ass at our new jobs and generally get settled. The past two months have been especially stressful on us and so we both agreed that now that it's Carnival season here (pretty much the entire country takes five days off to party), we are getting the HELL out of our apartment and doing something awesome. This something awesome is something luckily we have close access to (well 7 hours close) and five days to hippie it up on some sandy beach backpacker motels to go ... drumroll...
SWIM WITH WHALE SHARKS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT.
I have wanted to do this since I saw them on TV around 7 so this is a HUGE deal for me.
Now, rewind three days ago when his dad calls, who lives near us and asks us what we're doing on our time off and he tells him and out spews the negativity from him to his son about "Is this Tom.Cruise's idea??? Ugh, that is SO crazy. You guys will hit SO much traffic. Blah blah negative negative." My SO has this issue where his Dad somehow always manages to say ONE thing where he thinks...oh maybe this isn't such a good idea. So then this escalates into one of our biggest arguments and I vow not to talk to his Dad again for a month until his father apologizes (this isn't the first time he has actually ruined some plans of ours due to his nosiness). His dad also called me yesterday when I was about to cancel our arrangements to pretty much patronize me by "educating me" about the area. "There are no soft, sandy beaches to sunbathe. The waves are rough. Getting there is hard." Because I don't have access to the Internet, don't know how to research a location in which I've been dying to visit forever. He thinks I just want to throw myself on the sand and lay there getting tan and reading Cosmo because WOMAN. I was polite but furious and cut him short, telling him I had to go and hanging up on him.
First, he butts into our plans ALL. THE. TIME. because he feels he's an expert on everything. Second, I told my SO, this is it. He needs to apologize to me and you need to tell him to respect boundaries and stop patronizing me. He can ask questions, but his opinions aren't welcomed unless they aren't negative. He also feels the need to criticize places we choose to stay on said vacation because "he has a friend who has a place, so we should stay there." I'm sorry but, if it is even his brother, I do not like feeling obligated to stay at places he insists just because they are his friends/family. He has even berated me in front of his family because I chose to go to some highly rated eye doctor instead of his cousin's daughter. And he actually said, "You need to keep things like this IN the family. It's a FAMILY thing." Uh, ok. No offense to that woman, but I think I can handle choosing my own people when it comes to MY BODY.
The only good note is that my SO firmly spoke with him this morning, telling him to back off when it comes to our plans and our plans are still on now. His father then tried to call me again but I was not going to answer still. He's usually a very nice man, but he's notorious for his loud, opinionated, sadly mysogenistic voice, and nosiness. He knows not to go some places with me, but when people piss me off enough, I tend to just avoid them at all costs. And I think he know sees that.
Any advice on how, when we finally DO have to speak, not completely losing it on him and making him realize if he does it again, I probably won't speak with him for longer than a month? My SO also told me he said, "Oh don't worry, she'll just get over it - women are like that." Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.