As some of you may remember, I recently sold my house after ending a long-term relationship. It was bittersweet. The new owners were very nice, and allowed me to live in one of the units (it's a three-flat) month-to-month for as long as I needed to find a place. Well, I found a place. It's a condo - the owners are moving out of state and don't want to put the place on the market. It's a nice little two-bedroom with exposed brick everywhere, high ceilings, in-unit washer/dryer (this was a must!), and it's right on the beach. Like, the property shares a lot-line with a city park on the lake-front. Looking out the living room window is looking at the lake. I am so excited! I have a dog who loves the beach! Also, one of my closest couple-friends lives in the building. I can't wait to live in their neighborhood!

The apartment is also in a somewhat bad neighborhood...which I am not looking forward to. I read the police blotter for a couple of neighborhoods near me, and this one is particularly bad. Lots of muggings/assaults/robberies. So I'm a little concerned about it...

Anyway, the move is making me feel weird about the whole "closure" thing again. I'm so happy to be moving to this great new apartment, but part of me is really sad to be leaving this house. I hate living here, but it just holds so much meaning for me in its walls. It's a physical reminder of past failings, which I'm happy to let go of, but it's also painful to acknowledge them again. It really does feel like a final break with a painful and unhappy period of my life, and I get to move on to the next stage. But letting go of all that pain and unhappiness is itself kind of painful. I can't wait to move, but it's a heavy, dull-ache kind of anticipation. I'll miss this place. I'll miss what I wanted it to be. I'll miss what I failed at accomplishing.