Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

In which my GT friends help me achieve maximum polyamorous Halloween cuteness after the jump.

My new triad has decided to Halloween together. In my world, Halloween is a verb. Like summer, for rich people. Our beau is a 6'6" brunette with a broad chest & thighs like tree trunks. So at my hilarious suggestion, he'll be dressing as Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. I kept joking that he should find three blondes to serve as his fawning groupies for the evening, but he instead came up with the inspired idea that our girlfriend (What's the female version of beau? There needs to be one. Let's get on that.) could dress as Belle, & I could rock out my lioness mane & be the Beast. I get to be a sexy Beast! Not to be confused with Sexy Beast in which Ben Kingsley delivered an exceptional tour de force.


So obvs, I'd do ballroom scene Beast. I'm fully prepared that I'll probably have to sew the Beast's jacket from scratch, but if I can find an affordable vintage piece, all the better. But as Halloween is something about which I'm meticulous in craft & detail, I've compiled a list of stuff I'd like the hivemind to help me hunt for.

List of Stuff I'd Like The Hivemind to Help Me Hunt For

-Horns (What kind of animal are they? I can't even tell.)


-Navy Jacket with Tails (I can add gold buttons & piping so long as it has the right shape, color, & fabrication.)


-His actual tail. Like, at his butt. (Optional, because I'm not sure I want to sit on that all night. And I'll probably knock stuff over with it too. Hmm... okay, I think I need you guys to vote yea or nay on the tail.)

-Relevant Youtube Makeup Tutorials. (Hoping mostly just for a realistic animal nose & maybe some dramatic contouring around the eyes/cheekbones. We're keeping this sexy.)


-Any other detail you think I'm missing or overall suggestions for the triad

-A Female Equivalent for Beau

Illustration for article titled Find it!: Hivemind Halloween Help

Share This Story

Get our newsletter