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First fight with boyfriend

So, Boyfriend and I had our first fight today. We talked, and I’m mostly over it, but I was pissed. But it’s also been a good lesson to me in understanding how he thinks and planning things better for myself.

We agreed to go on a hike with a friend of his today. Typically, when him and I go on a hike, it’s anywhere from an hour to two hours. The times we’ve gone longer, it was known from the beginning, and planned for. Since he didn’t say it would be a longer hike, I was planning for an hour or two.

We drive up to where the hike starts and set out. His friend is power walking, which I’m not really a fan of on hikes. First of all, it’s beautiful out! I want to enjoy the amazing scenery. Secondly, we’re on snow, mud, ice, and unstable rocks throughout, so powerwalking is a quick way to get a sprained ankle. I guess I’m just conservative about that stuff because I’ve always been taught to plan not just for what you know you’re doing, but for what could go wrong, and to not do things that might cause something to go wrong. Be careful on unstable walking surfaces because a broken or sprained ankle in the backcountry is bad. Me scrambling as fast as I can across some icy/slippery rocks to keep up with this woman who’s easily got a foot on me, so a longer stride, was causing me to slide and slip.


Plus, the snow, while packed on top, had some weak parts, so periodically, I was sinking through up to my thigh. Because I didn’t know where we were going (Lesson: Ask boyfriend where we’re going so I can pick the right footwear), I didn’t wear my winter hiking shoes. My feet were sloppy wet after an hour.

Also, since I had only planned on an hour or two hike, I brought a water bottle and we had boyfriend’s camelback. And one apple.

An hour into the hike, boyfriend asks her “So, how long is it until we get to X?” and she’s like, “Oh, well, when I did it a few summers ago, it was a four hour hike, round trip. But we were also able to drive in a bit further. And there wasn’t snow slowing us down...”

I nearly lost my shit right there.

Between the three of us, we didn’t bring enough water or food for a four hour hike, let alone what was easily going to be a longer hike because of the snow. Also, I hadn’t planned that my whole day would be eaten up by this hike. I had/have shit to do!


After about another 45 minutes of hiking, boyfriend suggested we head back. He was getting hungry. We did, and got food nearby. I have either been hiking or traveling to a hike (plus lunch) for the past 6 1/2 hours.

Plus, it wasn’t even fun. We couldn’t enjoy the scenery because we were trying to keep up with her the whole time. She was easily 20 - 30 feet in front the entire time. Physically, I kept up, but it sucked to have to keep up that pace the whole time and not have moments to stare at the scenery, look at rocks, trees, or the butterflies (yes, weird, on the snow...) fluttering around. (Lesson: next time, fuck it; just stop, look around, and she can wait.)


On our way out, we passed through a tiny town (they have 76 year-round residents. It’s slow and quiet, especially during off-season) and as she’s approaching the main road (main = paved), she’s doing about 35mph. There’s a group of four people and their dogs walking down the middle of the road. 100 yards away, she starts slowing down, but not before these people have heard the sound of the car roaring down the dirt road behind them, and pass doing 20mph. They gave us a dirty look, which she chalked up to the out of state plates on her car, then proceeded to zoom through this tiny town at 30 miles per hour. The speed limit is 15 because people regularly walk IN the streets (there are no sidewalks).

I’m home, I’m fed, and I’m still slightly irritated. I talked to Boyfriend about this, and he apologized and understood why I was mad. But yeah, that was our first fight.


Also, lots of Lessons for myself here... And I should have spoken up sooner, but I can sometimes have a hard time doing that.

ETA: I just looked it up. It’s a 10 mile round trip hike, elevation gain of 950 feet up from 8500. Here’s a pic of the hike that I grabbed from the ‘netz (not the end point, but during the hike. The end point is possibly doxxing, idk...). It’s not a trail, normally a jeep road, but was closed due to...wait for it...SNOW!


ETA2: Here’s a pic of boyfriend and I on the hike. Also, she had a flight to catch. She just BARELY made it. Had we pushed on as far as she wanted to go, no amount of speeding through tiny mountain towns would have helped her. JFC, this is why I don’t do this kind of stuff with loose operators. LESSON.

Me and bf. I’m off to the right, in front of the tree; you can see the pink on the top of my jacket.
The trail during summer, sans snow.

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