No mainpage kthnxbai.

First up, I'm not going to go into specific numbers and sizes, partly because I remember the Good Old Days of Jezebel, but mainly because we're from all over and dress sizes vary internationally so it probably won't even be helpful. Instead of numbers I will be using random letters, and possibly random fruits.

This post doesn't have a purpose really, it's just a rambling observation.

Also backstory: I'm (amongst other things) a sex worker.

I'm prompted to write this because last night, for about the eleventieth time, a client remarked to me "What dress size are you again? Because I expected you to be a lot bigger".

I'm the dress size that I say in my advertising.

Does anyone else think that men generally speaking (yes I know NOT ALL MEN, argle bargle) are sometimes kind of terrible at gauging women's dress sizes and weight? And that this would be an incidental and meaningless thing, if it weren't for the fact that our culture has prescribed a very limited range of size and weight for Conventional Female Hawtness?

When you're a sex worker one of the first questions you ask yourself in advertising is whether you're going to be absolutely honest with your stats - i.e. age*, ethnicity, looks... and size.

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This is a generalization and I stress that it's not even the majority (that I know of, I can only talk about sex workers I've met personally), but there is pressure to lie about some of these things, especially about weight and dress size. Not to mislead clients into thinking that you're several sizes smaller so they're surprised when they see you in person, but because they have a fixed notion in their heads about what a size X looks like, and it's significantly bigger or smaller than people familiar with sizing in women's clothing now a size X to actually be.

Say an escort is size banana, which most women who wear clothes and shop know to be actually smaller than the average, and she is extremely conventionally beautiful, with a conventionally perfect figure. But she knows that society tells men that Hot Girls are size pineapple, and that saying she is size pineapple will get her more business. What does she do? Does she say she's a size banana and figure that her smoking hot photos will convince men to use their eyes and brains, rather than just go by the number? Or does she say that she's a size pineapple because the number is total ephemeral bullshit and once the client arrives at her place he will be a very happy camper regardless, but saying she's a size pineapple will give her a competitive edge when he's browsing through eleventy ads?

This can be exacerbated by the fact that some johns always add numbers to the stated ages and weights of sex workers as a matter of course. So it becomes a whole stupid chicken and egg thing. This is a dilemma that someone like me faces. I'm a dress size rambutan, which is definitely well outside what is considered conventionally hot but nowhere near convincing BBW territory either, which is its whole own thing. I could fudge the figures a little and say I'm a size papaya. But then I run the risk of committing what a lot of these dudes truly seem to think is the most heinous sin a hooker can commit - lying about her weight. It's just like internet dating really - their biggest fear is we'll be larger than we said we were, our biggest fear is they'll murder us.

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I mean this. I've rarely seen outraged anger like I have with a client who has been, or thinks he has been, the "victim" of false advertising.

But seriously, sometimes it does feel exactly like internet dating. With some men it's like even if you have photographs showing your body clearly, if you cite a dress size number or body weight that, in their vague "this is what society tells us so it must be true" cognitive processes, is "too big", then that's that and you are too big, forever and ever, world without end, amen. I know women who are papayas, rambutans, bananas, lychees, all of whom say in their advertising they are pineapples or jackfruit simply because that's what sells. (Please note that although it's mostly sizing down, it can also be sizing up. There is such a thing as too skinny too, alas.)

Several years ago I had a housemate who was a bikini model who'd appeared in a few mainstream Australian publications, and was very much a certified Hawt Chick. I can't remember how it came up in conversation now, but she ended up schooling another housemate's boyfriend when he said something ignorant about how hot girls never weigh more than X, and she took him into the bathroom and got on the scales. Obviously this phenomena isn't limited to industries based on perceived appearance and physical attraction though.

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Has anyone else experienced this? It amuses me how clueless they sometimes are. I think men's magazines should publish educational articles showing them how six women can look so different but all be the same dress size. Ladymags do this all the time but we're not the ones who need to be taught, haha.

P.S. Also, they're terrible at accurately gauging boob size.

Edit: obviously women aren't perfect at this either. But in my experience women generally are more aware that dress sizes can vary wildly from label to label, or clothing item to clothing item, and that two women who look completely different can be wearing the same dress size.

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* In terms of age, I know many sex workers who make a very sensible argument that it's like lying about your age as an actress or other type of performer - the number doesn't necessarily have to be in accordance with the DOB on your driver's licence, you have scope to put whatever age you convincingly present as and that clients can believe you to be. The way this argument goes is that if a client is looking for someone who's "barely legal", or a MILF, or whatever, he's not going to care if you're actually in your early 20s, or not quite old enough to have teenage offspring yet, as long as you convincingly look the part.