Let me tell you the tale of Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift.

Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift means bloodshot eyes and no semblance of makeup whatsoever. Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift means hair in a ponytail. Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift means the comfiest pants possible, and my boss gives up trying to ask me to wear big girl pants cuz he knows I didn't get home til 10 pm last night and he'll be damned if I'm shoving my ass into jeans this early.

Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift means no smiles. No smiles. It means I'll be mildly awake til about 9 am, and then I end up dozing off behind the desk. It is around this time my boss calls to wake me up. He still doesn't complain, because he knows Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift is not the time to make complaints.

Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift is more like Fluffybutt and the 6:15 shift, which is why everyone on staff has their own key now because God knows I ain't making it there on time. Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift means my coworkers say nothing about me chain smoking, because I will kill someone if I don't have cigarettes.

Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift requires a nap upon ending. It is not a time for the menz to hit on me. It is not a time for jokes. It is a time for me to ask all the regular customers and anyone on Facebook to bring me coffee.

Fluffybutt and the 6 am shift is brought to you today by 3 hours of sleeps and the inability to see straight.

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It's also absolutely freezing outside and I don't want to leave my house.